A gift of love.....

My little brother turned 28 yesterday..Tyler Joseph Smith was born February 22, 1982. I was almost 4. He was my Mom's easiest labour, actually he never gave her one single labour pain and she did not have to go through a c-section because as you may have guessed Tyler was adopted. His birth mother was all of 17 when she had him. How grateful I am to her for her strength and love, she loved Tyler enough to give him a life that she at the time could not give him her self. I have never considered Tyler any thing but my full blood related brother and never will think of him as any thing else, ever. We are the only Blondie's in our family and he and I look more alike than my full blooded sisters...go figure! Tyler has a awesome sense of humour and can keep you laughing for hours until you ache all over, but a good ache. He is good at every thing he does...seriously good. He taught himself how to ride his two wheel bike at 3, he wreaks of coordination, good looks and charisma. He is an amazing photographer, artist and athlete. He actually does have some rather annoying habits though...like chewing the remote control and pencils. The boy cannot sit for more than 2 seconds with out moving, he tries all sorts of things that are bound to kill him or at least maim him for life, and he can get my boys wound up tighter than a drum in less than 5 minutes and you know what......I would not change a single thing about him. I mothered him to death when we were kids and Kelly and I totally babied him beyond belief..(OK , so I still do, and she would too if she were still around) but he is my little brother and I love him.
I have a special place in my heart for Tyler's birth mother. I did not fully realize the gift that she gave us 28 years ago until I watched my sister make the same decision to place her baby boy, and then completely realize once I had my own children. My sister Kelly gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on September 3, 1998, she was 19 and not married. She named him Ryan Joseph and for 3 days that is what our family called him until his Mom and Dad came to pick him up and gave him the name Kellen Seth Hansen. I remember the day my sister told us she was pregnant..hard words to hear when you yourself are dealing with infertility. I remember crying and saying "Oh I am going to be and aunt before I am a mother" and that was hard to deal with at first. After my initial selfishness I realized that this was not about me, but my sister. We all rallied around her and did what we could to give her our full support. She in the end decided to place her baby up for adoption, probably the hardest thing she ever had to do, I can only imagine how difficult. I was there the day she placed her baby into his Mothers arms...it was bitter sweet, we knew this is what she wanted and needed to do and it was only from the love, strength, and peace from our Heavenly Father that she was able to give him to his family. As I watched my dear sister place her baby in his parents arms I wept, we all did. Tears of sadness, tears of heartache but also tears of joy and happiness filled our eyes and ran down our faces. Right then and there I knew for the first time the magnitude of what my brothers birth mother had done for our family. I knew what heartache she and her family faced with her decision, I also knew how much love she had for her son, love so pure that her own wants and desires were put aside for him. How I admire my brother's birth mother and my sister for their strength and love. My sister died 9 months after Kellen was born, I am sad that Kellen will not get the chance to meet Kelly again in this life, but I am grateful to be part of his life and that I can share things about Kelly with him so that he too may understand what a wonderful woman she was. I am so grateful that Tyler has had the opportunity to know and spend time with his birth mother, as she is a great woman. I am forever grateful for the tender mercies from our Heavenly Father to understand his will and to be able to understand the tremendous gift that one girl can make to a family.